If you know a survivor of SRA is going through a difficult time, and youre afraid of making it worse, dont quite understand their depth of emotions...
What do you say?
Im here to listen
What can I do?
I know youre going through a tough time
I am here
And just allow the survivor to sit in silence, talk, or they might say something funny and joke from the stress of everything. Humor is healing.
Some things to concider...
Dont try to silence the survivor when they need to talk (about something they are struggling with) by changing the subject, telling them to look on the bright side or ignoring what was said. Very likely the survivor doesnt have a supportive family, so being able to confide in friends is important. Think of how you would like to be treated if you needed to talk about something youre struggling with.
The survivor is trying very hard to cope
The survivor is not perfect
The survivor wants to heal
The survivor is working hard to be positive
Healing from this kind of abuse is not easy
Unless you have undergone torture/ brainwashing/ mind control...its hard to understand how tough it is
The survivor pushes down their sadness/ triggers to be able to work/ get through life
When you know its a difficult date for the survivor see how they are doing.
The survivor can rise above sadness, it just takes time. Know that your words of advice are taken to heart.
To the Survivor:
Listen to the person in your life who is trying to help
Try to incorporate a different way of looking at things/ dealing with things
Try not to issolate
Do things that make you happy
Try new things
Make an effort each day to live in the moment and find joy in the little things
Most of all believe you can overcome the difficult times. Because you can.