Victorious Heart Inc. ca

Ritual Abuse Survivor and Author of: "UNLOCKING BURIED SECRETS" & "UNLOCKING BURIED SECRETS #2: Healing From Satanic Ritual Abuse Workbook for Male & Female Survivors"


Signs and Symptoms of Ritual Abuse:

Below is a list of some common fears of S.R.A. survivors. It is important to mention that as the survivor progresses through his or her healing process, the list of fears will diminish significantly and many survivors will be able to enjoy eating a healthy diet consisting of such things previously difficult to ingest such as meat, juice, water, etc---and the survivor will be able to tolerate being in situations that cause some mild discomfort such as a loud, crowded, and noisy public place. The survivor may experience being triggered in such situations at times, more so the week leading up to a ritual date, or on a ritual date, or when the survivor is physically exhausted.  Survivors who have spent many years healing from the abuse will know what works to help manage their triggers and will practice self care when triggered (Such as going to the bathroom for a few minutes to regain their composure, run their hands under cold water, basically just to take a short break by physically removing him or herself from the noise or environment to a more quiet environment).  

If you are a survivor reading this, take comfort in the fact that you will not stay stuck forever, even though it may feel like it. There was a time in my life where the memories, flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, images, etc were relentless and I was a complete mess. I felt completely hopeless and felt that my life would never get better, that I would never progress in my healing, that I would be forever damaged. Take so much comfort in the fact that it is totally possible to move out of this phase in your healing. You can reach a place of having healthy relationships, achieving somewhat decent sleep patterns without the intrusion of constant debilitating nightmares, you will regain the ability to laugh, make jokes, act silly, dance to your favorite songs on the radio, get out in nature and feel somewhat safe, have the energy to exercise and live your life,  the flashbacks will lessen or cease all together with the exception of the odd one taking place once in a blue moon (and by this time you will have the tools to calm yourself quickly), you can and will be able to relax, enjoy time by yourself, be able to sleep in your bed at night instead of during the day on the couch, you will set goals and find yourself actually reaching them, you will enjoy cooking meat and enjoy every minute of eating it without the flashes of horror associated with the abuse, your confidence will slowly begin to build in knowing that you have what it takes to make it in this life----you will be OK, and feel OK most days. You will heal.

__Intense shame:  Triggers will produce feelings of embarrassment, fear, panic and shame in the survivor, not because the survivor has done anything wrong---mostly the survivor is afraid of re-visiting the past through triggers, as well, the survivor is afraid of their past abuse being exposed through their current triggers. For a survivor of SRA the triggers are anything and at times this can feel overwhelming to the survivor. (If you scroll to the top of the page above the comments there is an article about shame.)

__Extreme emotional/ physical reactions during RA dates as well as the phases of the moon (Depression, sadness, anxiety, fear, dread, memories may emerge, unable to focus/ feel sick to your stomach, zero energy, loss of appetite, triggered and dissociate easily, etc)   

__Fear of men, women, babies 

__Fear of being in a circle or large group of people

__Fear of people you don’t know

__Fear of doctors, policemen, people in authority

__Fear of eye contact

__Fear of blood, bones

__Fear of masks, robes

__Fear of saying your own name or hearing your name said over and over

__Fear of chanting or anything said in unison

__Fear of snakes, spiders, bugs being on you

__Fear of churches, altars, coffins, cages

__Fear of religious symbols or ceremonies

__Fear of knives, chainsaws, circular saws, swords, or any sort of weapons  (Also fear at hearing noises that resemble chain saws, circular saws, or any loud noise that sounds similar)

__Fear of candles

__Fear of urinating or defecating

__Fear of certain meats (hamburger meat, or eating chicken off a bone) or drinks (alcohol, tomato juice)

__Fear of drugs, needles

__Fear of loosing control

__Fear of being confined

__Fear of water or being drowned

__Fear of certain numbers, letters, certain phrases or words, certain nursery rhymes

__Fear of getting married, becoming pregnant, abortions

__Fear of hospitals

__Fear of nighttime or being alone

__Fear of cemeteries, caves, dolls, clowns

__Fear of eye contact

__Fear of hypnosis

__Fear of bedrooms, basements, small rooms

__Fear of being observed during sex

__Fear of penises, or female genitalia

__Strong startle response to loud or high pitched noises

__Sensitive to bright lights

__You’ve been raped

__You repeatedly find yourself in dangerous or abusive situations

__You’ve been shown pornographic material by an older adult as a child

__You’ve had pornographic pictures taken of you

__You have a fear of your picture being taken and don’t know why

__A strong need to protect animals, you relate to an injured or distressed animal

__Memory loss/ blocking knowledge of past abuse

__History of head aches

__History of self injurious behaviors/ cutting/ slashing/ burning/ etc

__History of suicidal impulses/ history of suicide attempts

__History of hospitalization in the psychiatric department

__Highly intelligent

__Inability to withstand physical closeness or touch

__High pain tolerance

__Previous therapy/ in therapy now

__Shows signs and symptoms of childhood sexual abuse/ may or may not remember the abuse

__Nightmares of violence, rape, torture, killings, deaths, sacrifice, candles, witches, people wearing robes, people in black, the devil or Satan, rituals, body parts, orgies, sexual abuse, physical abuse, brainwashing, mind control, switching ie: people or situations are not what they first appeared to be, running for your life, feeling drugged, occult symbolism

__Flashbacks depicting the same themes as your nightmares

__Anxiety around small children, babies or animals

__History of artwork as a child or adult depicting any of the above, also including grid marks, bloody tears, hearts, graves, cyclonic shapes, doodles of circles, triangles or squares spiraling into the center