My life has been filled with special moments, moments that I will always cherish and never forget. I pay special attention to detail and notice a lot of things that others may dismiss or forget. I think this is part of being a ritual abuse survivor.
Recently I noticed an affirmation on a cork board that read something to the effect of:
"Life isn't about how many breaths that you take, but it's the moments that take your breath away".
This is so true. I have had many moments in my life with other people that mean so much to me, and in nature, that literally have taken my breath away, and these moments are the ones to hang on to in your moments that you don't feel so strong. These are the moments that you need to reflect upon, and revisit to keep you moving forward in your life.
A few special moments that I have had recently are:
*During a phone call with a long time friend, I discovered that she isn't overwhelmed by my past, doesn't judge me by my past, and only thinks of me as the kind and caring person that I am. I learned that I don't have to always hide who I am or how I feel. What a huge relief.
*While working on Canada Day (A much better day at work), I encountered a bunny rabbit that two people pointed out to me, and as I slowly walked over to him, he let me get about a foot from him before he slowly hopped off. He was sitting on his two back legs (with his front paws curled in front of him) just watching me! I spoke to him while approaching, and he seemed engrossed in what I was saying. I also experienced a chipmunk coming up to me, watching me for a while as I spoke to him, then going on his merry way. He also got very close to me. I love moments like these!!!
*While watching The 4th Of July celebrations in the states on TV tonight, I went to go sit outside for a little bit. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a movement, so I turned to look. There were 4 bunnies with white tails sitting in front of me on the front lawn. I started to laugh at how cute they were, and at that moment they all started to play with each other in front of me. Then just as quickly, one by one, they made their way to the next door neighbors front yard. These moments are priceless and I am so grateful that I experience them often!
*The other day I biked down to the trails to pick some herbs, and as I was walking along the path with my bike (As I like to bike down, but then walk once I get there), I came to a spot where a new overpass has been built along the trails. I have never been down this far. It is along the Grand River. It was absolutely beautiful. The structure of the overpass was enormous, and the water on the left side looked like glass sparkling in the sunshine in between the huge cement beams. As I walked along the path and out from under the overpass, so many birds were flying so close to me. Swooping to the right, the left, circling me...it was like I was in heaven. There were even butterflies and dragonflies with so many pretty colors flying along with me as I walked---stopping a few feet in front of me, then flying along in front of me only to stop and wait for me once again. I cant describe how beautiful it was. As I walked along the trail, I thought of all that I am grateful for in my life and I took in the feeling of the sun on my skin. I treasure these moments, as before you know it, the fall/ winter will be here again. YUCK!!!!!!!! (Smile)
Here is a great song that I listen to when I need to feel uplifted!
AQUA--- Happy Boys & Girls
I have 2 affirmations stuck to my wall (And several more in my journal that I have come up with) to keep me moving forward in a positive direction in my life. The two I have on my wall (That I bought from a store) say this:
"Believe you can, and you're half way there."
"Change your thoughts, and you change your world"
I have since done more shopping (Which I LOVE!) and bought a black square painting containing 4 affirmations painted in white:
Dream as though you have nothing to lose
Believe as though anything is possible
Love as though your heart knows no bounds
Live as though there is only today
I also bought two frosted glass candle holders that say:
1.Live the life you have always imagined
A long, rectangular, black, picture frame that has Live, Love, Laugh above the spots to place pictures.
A reflective mirror that sticks to my wall above my computer that says:
I am also looking forward to shopping online at Ikea this weekend !!! I believe in creating a peaceful, colorful, and uplifting living space which gives you a comforting, soothing and safe place to come home to. I love to decorate!
I look at these often while doing things around my house, and remind myself that believing in yourself and choosing to think positively (Which I am still working on) can make such a huge difference in how you get through each and every day.
It is important to write out positive affirmations that uplift you, and remind you of what you want to achieve in your life, to keep you focused and moving forward in life.
I can honestly say, that although I still struggle with triggers, and some sadness regarding my past, I am over all doing well, love my job, love my friends and neighbors (Neighborhood), and I love my cats, and yes, even myself. Finally, I know that I count in this world, and that I am making a difference.
My wish for you survivors, is that you too will love your life, yourself, despite the reminders of your past.